Monday's Music Moves Me IT'S MY LIFE. Awakenings, Revelations and Decisions

This is one time I will be looking for non video videos' because the story is reflected in the music not by the video presentation.

Last time I talked of how I had begun a spiritual journey, I had entered the Catholic Church as an adult, however at the same time I was also exploring other aspects of spirituality

At this same time my life was in turmoil, I was still living safely at home, and was struggling to break free and be part of a larger world.  I was trying to figure out who I was and was drowning still living at home.  I was beginning to ask questions and trying to find the answers.

I was also still dealing with the loss of my father and not coming to terms with that.

In 1982 the loss of my father hit me in the face, when I went to see the Second  STAR TREK Movie, THE WRATH OF KHAN. because with the symbolic death of Leonard Nimoy's Spock, I had to confront openly the emotions I had kept locked inside of me.

I began to realize how I had been injured in my life, by people who always said they were there to help me, whether they be family or friends, and this caused me to doubt people when they said they were my friends or would be more than this.  So much of this came from my mother, who caused tremendous confusion in how I dealt with people.

The confusion caused by the abuse I was coming to realize was expressed brilliantly by PRINCE, and it was this song that expressed the confusion I was feeling internally and when it came to try and develop any relationships.

The person who had introduced me to my spirit quest was someone who was 13 years older than I and I thought I was deeply in love with her, as much as any 20 something young man can feel.  I was confused by emotions that were coming to the surface, because I had not really dated anyone before so I had no experience.  I also didn't know if I could trust her because of the abuse I was realizing had been part of my life

I was feeling lost and confused and I did not feel safe in Colorado, I needed to start my life over again.  I needed to start with a blank page, because here I felt trapped, worse I didn't know if the abuse I had been through would erupt inside of me.

I needed to leave Colorado, and find a new beginning.  So I packed a few items and took off from Stapleton International Airport.  There was no looking back, only forward.

Where did I end up, what happened next, and did I break out of the cycle of addiction?  Tune into my next chapter.