Friday, May 6, 2011

In memory of my mother

My mother and I were not on the best of terms the year she died, if anything we were in total opposition to each other, I was at a point of change that had been delay nearly 20 years and I was finally standing up for myself and not allowing guilt or a false sense of responsibility to keep me from expressing myself and finally at 38 beginning to discover who I was.

However, my mother was not always my adversary, she had also been someone who had helped me learn to read, and write and she had given me a lot of freedom, as long as I remained at home, took care of her and did not have a life of my own.

She had been born in a small community known as Frederick, Colorado, which until about twenty years ago had a one room school house because it had remained so small.  You could literally walk from one end of the main street to the other.

In 1942 she met my father who was a musician in the 515th Army Air Corps Band at Lowery Field, in Denver, Colorado.  My mother and dad dated and were married in a year.  She moved to Denver and in 1944 gave birth o my brother Geoffrey.

My mom was a stay at home mom, most of her life and she felt trapped by this, many times she told me as  I was growing up, I was an accident and unwanted, and yer she worked hard with me, so I could read and write and succeed in school.

She was at my graduation at Manual High School in 1980.

In 1974, my father died and my mother never recovered. 

On the day that my mother died in 1998, she told me how nice I looked and how proud she was of me, two things I  had not heard my entire life.  My mother never had the opportunity to meet the woman I married or her family.  I think though she approves of my beloved.

This is for you mom.  I hope you have finally found the peace and harmony you didn't on Earth.  Love your son.

Mom on Graduation day 1941, Frederick, Colorado

My mom, me, and my aunt Karen in the living room of our home in Denver July 1960.

Mom and Dad, they loved fishing together.  I took this in 1970 .

Left to right, Me, my mom, My Aunt Karen, and her son David Akana Espinda the IVth, Christmas Eve, Kauai Hawaii 1975.

Mom in Hawaii 1975, wearing a moo moo.

Ashes to ashes, my mom's remains scattered on top of Loveland Pass 1998.


  1. Such a sweet and moving tribute to your Mom. I'm so glad she was able to give you words of approval before she died. I'm sure you treasure them.

  2. Very lovely tribute to your mom. Remember the good times! Memories and her love are forever!

    I'm a new follower from the blog hop!
    Hope you can hop by and visit my blog!
    Have a great weekend!

  3. This is such a sweet tribute. I am glad the end came the way it did. A mother's love is never ending though really tough at times. Thank you for sharing with us.
    Found you from Java's Never Growing Old Over 40 blog hop.
    Take care and wishing your Mrs a Happy Mother's Day. God Bless!!

  4. Honey, I see through this writing how much you ave grown and have learned to forgive. It is terrific that she gave you her final words as she did. You can remember them and hold on to them.
    I have never seen the photo of her final resting place...glad to see it.

    I am sorry that I never knew your parents.

    I love you.
    ~Naila Moon